The time between the proposal and the wedding can be a whirlwind of activities. This is particularly true if you have a short engagement but it is also the case for many couples with a much longer engagement.
Often during this time early warning signs of possible issues in the relationship begin to emerge. Communication issues can become more problematic, different values, opinions and expectations may surface and simply be ignored or rationalized as “wedding planning issues.”
This wedding planning and all it entails is often the first “pressure” type of situation for most couples. It is also the most common place for issues that can be problematic throughout the relationship to be addressed or proactively unearthed with the help of premarital therapists.
To understand how premarital therapists can help a couple, let’s look at common issues that are addressed in the sessions.
Close or Far Apart?
Everyone has expectations about married life will be like. Knowing if your partner sees your roles, interactions, decision making and even financial management the same way as you do can be very helpful.
Having these discussions in the safe, confidential environment provided by premarital therapists may be the only way the couple feels comfortable in unpacking these issues. In some cases, it may be obvious to the couple that they have similar values and expectations whereas in others there may be deal-breaking differences.
Your Communication Habits
Most couples have areas of discussion they know are a challenge. This may be in managing money, when to have children, where to live, how much the family will be involved or even about religion and future goals and plans.
If there are a lot of these “hot button” topics in your pre-marriage relationship, they will only become more significant after the marriage. Learning how to turn hot button topics into honest, open and effective communications is a skill that a therapist or counselor can teach.
Learning how to talk and have disagreements without causing hurt, insult or feels of being unheard or unimportant will be critical to the relationship. Role plays, communication skills development and even learning how to talk to each other may all be part of the sessions.
Every couple will have some level of challenge in the transition from an informal relationship to the more formal relationship after marriage. Talking to a premarital counselor can help you to be fully prepared for this transition and have the skills you need to communicate effectively and work together through the ups and downs of your life.
